So then, brethren, stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by letter (2 Thess. 2:15). Guard what has been entrusted to you. Avoid the godless chatter and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge, for by professing it some have missed the mark as regards faith (1 Tim. 6:21-22).

Saturday, June 11, 2016

New lyrics for the Canadian national anthem? It's about time, eh.

O Canada,
Where are we going now?
Skewed views of love with dogs has been declared.
This song's about some sleazy guy
the court has blessed supreme.
We apologize for words like ‘man’ instead of 'Us' and 'Ze'.
Dogs keep our land canine and friendly.
Zoophilia and bestiality.
O Canada, we're bound for misery.

Apologies to Calixa Lavallée (composer), Sir Adolphe-Basile Routhier (French lyricist) and Robert Stanley Weir (English lyricist).

Satire and sarcasm, and constantly saying 'sorry', are as Canadian as back bacon and maple syrup. So, if you are offended by this post, we're sorry... sort of. Maybe.

Our American cousins have a very singable alternate song often sung as a back-up anthem. America The Beautiful occasionally replaces the Star Spangle Banner. No one down there seems to have a problem with the word 'brotherhood, as in "And crown thy good with brotherhood". Sarcasm aside for a moment, I'm guessing that our American cousins know that 'brotherhood' refers to all citizens, men and women, and they don't need to change the words of a song because they think people are too stupid to figure that out for themselves. In Canada, a politically correct elite does all the thinking for us. Ordinary folk simply cannot be trusted to think as people should, according to some people's thinking, that is. We even have human rights tribunals that help "convince" people they must fall in line with the rest of the enlightened few if they have any hope of being saved to dwell in the emerging Canadian utopia.

We of the True North (Norwegians, Swedes, Russians and all those other faux-northerners... be still!) might consider adopting another ditty that parliament should refrain from interfering with.

How about a Bachman-Turner Overdrive (BTO) song? Perhaps, Takin' Care Of Business? Is there a Canadian who, at the very least, can't scream some version of the lyrics?

Or... how about a nice Anne Murray song? Snowbird? Canadians are, after all, people of the 'Land of Nice'.

Or maybe something by country and folk legend Stompin' Tom Connors? Bud The Spud comes to mind. Too regional?

Well, there's Bob and Doug McKenzie's Take Off. It's got loads of 1980s Canadian humour with Canadian rock legend Geddy Lee of Rush who loaned his pyrotechnic vocals to its popularity... and there are loon sounds, too! Who can forget those timeless lyrics?

Take off! To the Great White North!
Take off! It's a beauty way to go.
Take off! To the Great White North!

Cooo, loo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coooo!
Cooo, loo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coooo!

C'mon Canada, we have lots of songs to choose from! Surely we can do better than our outmoded, patriarchal, misogynist, dog-hating, gender exclusive anthem that offends everybody and causes people to lie awake at night thinking up ways to avoid causing offense to anyone and everyone.

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